Venom goes to the Dentist
by Adude
Summary: Amusement follows. Finished! Thanks for all your glowing reviews, you guys! You ROCK!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer—I only own the dentist, and I'm sorry.

Dr. Andy Ricochet was having a particularly good day. All of his patients had shown up reasonably on time, none of them needed anything but a regular cleaning, and despite the fact that he lived in a city filled with dangerous super humans, nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

In fact, it was too good.

"Do you believe in karma?" he asked his patient.

"Whaa?" he replied, unable to close his jaw.

"You know, 'karma.' The ideology that you get what you give," Ricochet went on, raising his voice to be heard over the drill. "I'd like to think that the day has been so nice because I've never done anything wrong or harmful, or even unexpected--"

"OW!" screamed the patient.

"Oops, sorry, I'm a little nervous. Anyway, nothing bad has happened today …. Now rinse, please …. So all I can assume is that something really nasty will happen tomorrow to make up for it."

"Whateffer, ith you thay tho," said the patient, sitting up and gingerly touching his swollen cheek.

"I mean, normally we get at least twelve thugs who've been beaten by some guy in a costume with horrible teeth and even worse tempers, so you can imagine what it's like trying to take care of THEIR cavities …." He motioned to the walls of his office—all of which had at least three repairs on them from fists, crowbars, and some parts of it had even been melted.

The doctor shook his head and sighed. "And yet, nothing like that happened today. At all. In this whole city, not one half-robot-pirate-monster-monkey, or whatever's running around now, decided to visit. So, logically, tomorrow I'll run into a… uh…"

"Dump truck?" the patient quietly hoped.

"Probably …." Ricochet conceded. "Well, you're my last client Mr. Shultz, so maybe I'm in the clear," he said, taking off his gloves and washing his hands, "That is, unless of course, you turn out to be a masked villain and decide to kill me … ?" the doctor finished, half-joking and half-terrified.

"Well …." Shultz paused, contemplating the pros and cons of using his high-tech electric shockers and vibrating this guy to death, when out of the corner of his eye he saw the dentist's keys get grabbed by a web and yanked out the window. Ricochet hadn't noticed, so Shultz just shrugged and said, "Naw, I'm thure if you did anything wrong, 'karma' would take care oth it thor you." He got up and took his jacket, trying not to smirk at the doctor's fate. "Thee ya, doctor," then, to himself, "I hope it hurth."

After the bell above the door announced his final customer's exit, Dr. Ricochet mopped his brow, took a deep breath, and started closing shop. It was pretty dark at this hour, and he and his coworker, Claire, were the last two people in the building. They accompanied each other, as they sometimes did, to the parking lot.

"Andy, seriously, you need to relax," Claire said, patting Ricochet on the back. "The worst we had was a pro-wrestler throw a chair through a window--"

"Ugh, Claire! I had just about repressed that whole thing! Why'd you have to remind me? Now I need therapy again …."

Claire silently counted to ten. "Look, Andy, we're dentists. We clean people's teeth for a living. It's hardly an exciting career--"

"Unless you live here! Haven't you noticed! We have giant lizards and-and-and green men on flying surfboards and-and did you know my neighbor's friend's uncle's arm was broken by a man in a walrus costume! A WALRUS, Claire! What's next!"

Claire opened her car door and slowly turned to face him. "Listen, Andy, you're totally overlooking the other side of all this. We have a lot of whackos, yeah, but we also have that many heroes who save us, too! Don't you think they count for something?"

"Well, yeah, but, Claire," Andy shifted from one foot to the other, "they have superpowers. What can we do? Like you said, we're just dentists."

Claire got in her car and started the engine. For a moment she just sat there, then she rolled down her window and said, "Heroes are just as scared as you, Andy …. but …. they pull themselves together enough to stand up and fight anyway. Maybe you should be more like that," she backed up and started pulling away, "the least you can do is try."

Andy watched her leave, knowing he'd never have a chance with her, being who he was (unless he got attacked by a mutant squirrel and started wearing colorful tights). He reached into his coat pocket for his keys …. then the other pocket … and finally figured he must have left them in the office.

"Toothpaste," he swore to himself, gradually climbing the five-story stairs back up. He could have taken the elevator, but it was currently under repairs. "Wish they'd hurry up and fix the darn thing," he said as scanned his ID card and opened the clinic door, "It's not like it would kill them--" Ricochet turned on the lights and froze.

There, in the middle of the room, were his keys. However, they were dangling from what looked like a strand of some sort of sticky string. It took all of two seconds for Andy to register this as BAD.

He turned and headed for the door as fast as he could. Unfortunately, as someone was blocking it, the dentist found himself freezing for the second time, but with more shaking and sweating added.

This someone was an imposing man, though there didn't seem to be anything especially unique or radioactive about him. This allowed Andy to relax enough to ask, "Hey, how did you get in the doorway without me seeing you?" then wonder why he would ask that in the first place.

"You'll figure that out in a minute, human," replied the man, coming closer and closing the door, "as we require your services."

"Um, the clinic will be open tomorrow …." Ricochet said, noting that this guy's voice sounded a little weird, and therefore becoming nervous again, "so, if you'll let me out, you can make an appointment and--"

"No, this needs to be done NOW."

At that moment Andy knew what was odd about this character's voice; he had two of them. Recalling that he had used the word "we" instead of "I," and "human" instead of "you," were all adding up to "he's probably nuts," and, therefore, "way too dangerous." He reached for his secret weapon.

"I …. I have a gulp a taser?" he barely squeaked. The other man cocked his head, looking a little confused.

"What?"

"A …. a taser …."

" …. One more time."

"I HAVE A TASER SO LET ME GO OR FEEL PAIN!" he screamed.

" …. Oh …." said the man, understanding at last. "That's a bad idea. I wouldn't recommend getting us any angrier. You see, we have a toothache, and it's put us in a foul enough mood to kill more than usual tonight, so we suggest you FIX it."

He took a step closer, which caused Andy to panic, which caused him to press the button that shot out the taser wires. In a blur of motion, the man transformed into something black and hideous, dodged the wires, yanked the weapon out of the doctor's hands, and crushed it in his claws. The human didn't have time to move before the monster had him dangling in the air by his throat, threatening to put that same deadly pressure on his vertebrae.

"Sp-chhhk!" said Ricochet, unable to take his eyes off his captor.

It was easy to recognize him—he had been in the papers several times, thanks to a photographer named Peter Parker (who was being silently cursed at this moment by Andy). His name was Venom, and he was WAY scarier in three dimensions than in two, with his enormous, white eyes, massive muscles, and teeth that nightmares are made of …. literally, in this case.

"Do we understand each other?" Venom hissed, sinking in his claws just slightly and bringing his prey nose to, um, face.

"Gh …. ghyes!" the doctor gasped, futilely attempting to breathe.

"Good," said Venom with a satisfied smirk, which hurt, so he grimaced, which looked even worse. He dropped the dentist, who gratefully inhaled lung after lung full of air while rubbing his now bleeding neck.

Venom squatted down in front of him, willing his symbiotic costume to reveal his face. "So, Mr …." he reached out and lifted Andy's nametag, "Ricochet? Right. It's only in that other form you just saw that our tooth actually hurts, so if you can compose yourself enough to not soil your pants, you can help us, and we will let you live. You know; if we like you enough."

"You're …. you're too kind …." Andy found himself saying, and then, due to the unappreciative growl coming from his aggressor, swiftly regretting it. He decided from here on out it was best to deal with this villain as a professional, lest his head get ripped off or something equally nasty. "N-now, uh, Mr. Venom," he said, carefully standing up, "have a seat and I'll prepare the equipment."

Venom donned his full outfit once more and grinned. "Excellent."


	2. Chapter 2

"Ok," the dentist thought to himself, "so there's a known supervillain in my office. So what? I've dealt with, well, _minor_ baddies before, right? Same principle, only ….." He made the mistake of glancing at Venom as he sat down in the chair, which groaned in massive protest. "Only this time I'm gonna DIE! Oh, why did I have to be a dentist! I should have chosen something really boring, like a librarian, or an accountant! But NOOOO, I had to be a DENTIST!"

Venom watched the doctor mumbling and slamming his fist on the counter, then said, "What a weirdo," which was followed by his yelling, "OW! HURRY UP!"

"Ok, ok!" Andy replied through his mask while putting on his gloves, "Now, I need you to tell me the symptoms; where does it hurt, and how badly?"

"Everywhere, and a lot."

" …. Uhh …. that doesn't really …… Can you be more specific, please?"

Venom glared at Ricochet, who couldn't tell. "It hurts in a lot of places, and it's a lot of different pains ….. sometimes throbbing, sometimes stinging, like that."

"Hmmm." the doctor said, looking away and trying to focus on the problem and not his eminent doom as he wiped the sweat off his forehead. "Sounds like a periapical abscess. Do you remember chipping or otherwise damaging your teeth?"

Venom glared some more.

"That many times, huh?"

Glaaaaaaare.

The doctor coughed nervously, then sat in his chair and slowly scooted closer. He picked up his tools, trying to steady his hands, and said, "All right, say 'ah.'"

Venom obliged. Ricochet made the error of forgetting not to inhale and threw up in the sink. Venom found this great entertainment.

"Hahaha! We wonder how often our foes have done that in their masks!"

"Guh …." replied Andy after washing out his mouth, "I almost did. There's some mint gum next to you …. would you mind?"

Venom imagined himself blowing a bubble and concluded it was not the image he was going for. "Request denied, human. Besides, chewing hurts. Figure something else out."

"Fine," he said, looking around. After a few moments of shuffling through drawers, he took out a flower-shaped car air freshener and handed it to his "client," who, after intensely glaring at both him and the pink, scented object, made a grunting noise and put it around his neck. This allowed Ricochet to scoot his chair to its original position.

"Let's try this again. Say 'ah' ……" said Ricochet, telling himself this was all a bad dream, that he was really with Claire in the Bahamas drinking lemonade instead of gazing into the jaws of death and pulling out …… "Is that …… some BONE between your teeth!"

"Ay-gee," replied Venom, which Andy could translate into "maybe."

"Argh, it's human! What's WRONG with you?"

"Dey tashe goog."

"TASTE good? There's a million restaurants in this city and you eat PEOPLE!" the doctor shouted, finally yanking out the piece of bone lodged in Venom's gums. He didn't want to, but he examined it anyway, discovering that it was a fragment of a skull…… with a bit of brain still attached.

Andy fainted.

Dr. Ricochet was having a wonderful dream. He was flying, flying above the city without a care in the world. The sky was blue, the ocean was gorgeous, and the breeze felt wonderful.

But then, out of nowhere, he started falling. He screamed and tried to gain altitude, but to no avail. The pavement below was approaching at a deadly speed, when suddenly he stopped and hung there, suspended over an alley.

"Whu….. huh?" he said, wondering why he hadn't died, and why all the blood was rushing to his head. He looked around, and then realized he was hanging by his feet over twenty stories from the ground by a strand of webbing no thicker than a pencil.

Therefore, he did the only logical thing anyone could do under the circumstances.

"AAAAAAAAHHH! SOMEONE, ANYONE, HELP MEEEEEEEE!"

Unfortunately the only response to this was the resident of the adjacent apartment building throwing an old boot at him and telling him to shut up. Andy made a rude gesture with his hands toward the resident right before he was pulled swiftly skyward by the webbing.

Venom was perched on the wall by his feet like a sticky gargoyle. "Feeling better?" he asked Ricochet, holding him with one claw over the street.

"YOU'RE INSANE, YOU-YOU MONSTER!"

"No duh. Now, can we please finish our appointment? We're getting hungry."

Andy's eyes went huge in surprise and then started rolling back into his head. He looked about like he was going to start dreaming again when Venom hoisted him over his shoulder and started climbing down the building. It was right then that Ricochet determined that forgetting this part as soon as possible was a good idea. It wasn't a bumpy ride, but knowing how easily this creature could drop him or tear him in half made it exceedingly unpleasant. Plus he was afraid of heights.

Venom climbed through the office window and onto the ceiling. He aimed to drop Andy into his seat, but missed by about a foot. "Whoops, clumsy me," he said, crouching on his own chair with a grin that showed how sorry he obviously wasn't.

"I'm in my happy place, I'm in my happy place, I'm in my happy place …." Ricochet chanted to himself while rocking back and forth and shaking on the floor.

"Mmmmm, dentiiiiist…." which was all Venom needed to say to get the doctor animated again.

Andy tried to get back onto his chair, but found it difficult because his feet were still webbed together. Pointing at this, Ricochet asked, "Can you cut me free, please?"

"No, that would give you the ability (however small) to escape! We don't want that, now, do we?"

Andy sighed, all hope gone. When this was over, he wouldn't be able to put up even the slightest struggle beyond hopping away idiotically. All he could do was use his trade and stall for time.

He pulled himself into his seat and regained his composure as much as he could, then said, "From what I saw, there's a massive infection in your pulp--"

"Our what?"

"Oh, that is, the 'roots' of your teeth (assuming you have those). It looks like you need a ….." he hesitated, scooting away a little and hoping his next sentence wouldn't be his last, "A…. a root canal."

At this, the supervillain leaned forward and loomed over Ricochet. "You understand, human, that if you are lying we'll just kill you a lot slower…." He hissed, extending a claw menacingly beneath Andy's throat and pulling his chin up in typical badguy fashion.

"I'm-I'm sorry!" the doctor yelped, "and I swear, I would never do anything like that! Please don't hurt me!"

Venom pondered for a moment, then settled back in the chair. "That, at least, is true. We've been watching your mannerisms for some time, and we know you are neither that brave nor that stupid. You behave as humans should towards their betters. We trust you …. enough."

"Er ….. thank you ….. I guess." Andy couldn't help but observe the similarity between what this monster just said and what Claire had been telling him for years now. He felt a great wave of embarrassment and shame that not only had she been all too correct in her analysis, but that his cowardice was noticeable enough for him to be singled out by Venom himself!

Tonight, it appeared, would be his last …… unless—

"What? What's taking so long?" asked said villain, jolting the dentist back to the current situation.

"I, well, was just thinking," Ricochet said, scrambling for an answer, "How it is that ….. you can talk with teeth that huge? It doesn't look like your lips reach far enough to form words ….."

"………………………….."

"………………………….."

"……..Like……this?"

"Oh, I see! …... Huh," said Andy, knowing he had gained knowledge that defied both physics and description. "Um, also, we don't have ….. any….. pain killers," he went on, hoping Venom couldn't tell the difference between "lying" nervous and "about to die" nervous. "I could put you to sleep, though—"

"Shut up and get started. We are used to pain."

Ricochet attempted his plan again. "Are you sure you don't want to take a nap?"

"Yes."

"You're absolutely sure? It's gonna hurt a whoooooole lot!"

"…..Yes."

"Totally positive? You won't have nightmares or anything--"

"YES, WE'RE SURE! And for the record, Ricochet," Venom growled, grabbing the dentist's collar and bringing him to eye-level, "we don't appreciate smart-assed remarks very much. We get enough of THAT from our enemies."

He let Andy go, who readjusted his uniform and frantically tried to think of some other way out of this mess. In the meantime, however, he could get a little revenge.

"Suit yourself. Hold still ……" he said, starting the drill.


	3. Chapter 3

"GYYYAAAAAAAAARRRRGHHH!" screamed Venom, his living uniform pulsating and deforming in pain.

"Wh-but I haven't even started yet--" said the dentist (from a good distance away).

"THEEE NOOOOIIIISSSSE! SSSSTTOOOOOP IIIIIIIIIT!" Venom howled, clutching his head in his claws.

Ricochet turned off the drill and waited, his heart pounding furiously. The villain's visage had returned to normal, but Andy could sense he wasn't happy. Venom drove the point home by grabbing a nearby desk and throwing it through the outside wall and smashing about a thousand dollars worth of dental equipment, including all but one window. The dentist figured this was a premonition of his approaching demise (only cleaner).

When he was done, Venom sat in a ceiling corner, growling in an unearthly tone. After several minutes, he said, "……That hurt."

Andy was understandably confused. "What hurt?"

"The machine."

"The…. _noise_ from the machine?" he asked, looking at the tiny drill in his hand.

Venom glared at him again, but more out of annoyance than in an effort to intimidate. Perhaps this human was not as dense as he had appeared. He changed the subject.

"We have reconsidered your offer about the gas."

"Really!" said Andy, inwardly wincing at his failure to keep his excitement in check. At Venom's silence, Ricochet tried to look as small and unthreatening and not-plotting-anything as possible.

The villain uncurled as he left his perch and approached Ricochet, who cowered some more. Venom then put one hand on either armrest of Andy's chair, effectively pinning him down and scaring the snot out of him. Venom was almost tempted to reenact that one scene from Aliens, but that was gross even for him.

"We'd like you to know, human," he started, enjoying the effect his presence had on his captor, "that all those so-called 'heroes' who say they can save you from things like us are mistaken. If you even so much as blink funny, no amount of protection will keep me from beating you to death with your own spine!"

Venom waited for this to sink in. Andy was plenty terrified and got the gist of the threat, but the imagery was weird and kind of comical.

"Ah….understood?" Andy half asked, half said.

"Good," said Venom, standing up and heading for his chair, "but, just to make sure you don't get any ideas…." In an instant Ricochet was strapped to his seat via massive webbing. He could still scoot around and use his arms, but escape was now nonexistent.

Andy's reply was to grip the nozzle of the gas tank an turn it on in an aggravated manner while scowling as hard as he could. Venom just grinned. "Comfy?"

Ricochet was thinking all the curses in all the languages he knew very loudly. "Very," he said through clenched teeth, adjusting the mask's straps to fit the villain's cranium. Out of spite, he released the elastic band so it snapped on harder than it should have. "Whoops. Clumsy me."

Venom responded by swatting the doctor upside his head. Unable to keep his balance because of his confinement to his chair, Andy fell onto the floor with a 'thud.'

Once Venom finished laughing, he waited for the gas to take effect. Then he waited some more. He started tapping his claws on his chair, then turned to Ricochet and asked, "What's taking so long?"

Andy pushed off the ground as hard as he could, but this only resulted in his falling over the other way. Facing the ceiling, he replied, "Forgive me, but I've never worked with a…. whatever-you-are before. If you were a normal human, you'd have been asleep by now."

"Oh come _on_! You couldn't tell there are TWO of us! Why do you think we keep saying 'we' all the time?"

"I assumed you were 'special,' Venom. You know, in an insane way."

"Cute," replied the villain, lifting Andy up and setting him down upright, "but stop talking or we'll remove your jaw."

Ricochet wondered why he kept spouting cynical remarks, then thought it might be the only way to retain any amount of level-headedness in such a bleak situation. "Maybe that's why superheroes are known for their one-liners," Andy silently reflected, then turned up the gas as far as it would go.

In a matter of minutes the dentist had a snoozing patient, but he left the gas on for a while, just in case. Once it was off he removed the mask and stared at Venom, wondering how he managed to still look so scary while snoring so loudly. Regardless, it was time to put his plan into action.

Many ruined tools later, Andy gave up. "What's this stuff MADE of!" he wondered aloud, throwing away his last hook. He had been trying to free himself from his seat, but everything those scientists said about the proportional strength of a spider's web had sadly proven true. He slumped in his chair, utterly helpless….

Or, perhaps he wasn't. Andy scooted over close to the sleeping villain once again, and thought about everything Claire said about heroes. At this point, that conversation seemed a lifetime away, but he might be able to take her advice.

He picked up his most durable drills, knowing this last act of defiance would definitely end his life….but what kind of life had he been living anyway? He had always let fear rule him, let bullies like Venom push him around. He was a waste of air, nothing like the champions who sacrificed themselves for the people, but maybe—by being a "mere" dentist—he could make a difference and pay those heroes back.

He started up his tools and got to work.

Hours later Ricochet was finished. He took off his mask and checked his watch. 4:00am. No one would even be in the building for another three hours. Plenty of time for him to wind up another victim of Venom's wrath (which was fast approaching).

He rolled over to the broken windows, wondering if the fall would be faster than what the villain had in mind. He quickly decided "_oh_ yeah," then rolled back to get a fast enough speed to topple over the edge. He was just about to go when a heavy hand landed on his shoulder and prevented any movement.

"So dentists really are suicidal?" asked Venom through a yawn. Andy had come up with all kinds of nasty annotations and comebacks those short hours Venom was asleep, but at the moment they counted his words failed him.

"Gulp," said Ricochet.

Venom recuperated so fast it appeared that he had only been drowsing. He touched his jaw, still pinning down the doctor, and somehow managed too look angrier than usual.

"You have disappointed us, human… we are not pleased."

This was it. Andy tensed, waiting for whatever tortures the villain had in mind.

"We were truly hoping you would try something sneaky that we might have had an excuse to kill you! However," Venom continued, rising and walking towards one of the many shattered windows, "it appears since you have effectively freed us from pain that it is only fair you are allowed the 'pleasure' of existing some more."

Andy couldn't believe it. "You're….you're seriously letting me _go?_"

For a second, Venom stood motionless. He willed his suit to reveal his face to the doctor, allowing him to see that his expression was showing a touch of…. sadness?

"Contrary to popular belief, Ricochet, sometimes we're a goodguy too," and in an instant he was Venom again. "Humans respond easily to fear—scaring them is all we know how to do (and, you know, eating their brains). But don't tell anyone, or we'll have to implement all our previous threats."

For all the things to happen in those few moments that Venom had actually shown a slight glimmer of humanity and mercy, he HAD to be standing next to the only intact window left in the office. Everything went into slow motion when Andy realized that as soon as Venom saw his reflection and what had been done to him, Andy's life would end. Ironically, it would all be because he had tried to be a hero that he so obviously wasn't.

Venom started turning back to the window, ready to leave Andy's office, and his life, forever. "Don't let him see his reflection, don't let him see his reflection, oh PLEASE don't let him see his reflection!" Ricochet screamed in his head, begging to any deity who would listen.

But they must have been on vacation, because Venom halted, staring at the window and his image in it. The alien growling reverberating from his chest was all the indication Andy needed to know he was doomed.

All of Venom's teeth had been filed down to normal human proportions; not sharp, not scary, and very not deadly. Venom slowly faced Ricochet with a low hiss, all his muscles tensing and ready to spring.

"I…..I'm sorry?"

Venom leapt at Andy, who tipped his chair over just in time. The villain's momentum carried him well through the wall, while Andy was helpless on the floor—however, his drill was nearby. Ricochet hoisted himself onto his elbows, inching towards the drill, but Venom was too fast. He clasped his claws around his throat and started squeezing.

"YOU PIECE OF FILTH! WE WERE GOING TO LET YOU GO, BUT NOW WE CAN'T EVEN EAT YOU! GAAAARGGGH!" In his frustration, Venom started hitting the dentist's head repeatedly against the floor, causing Andy to see double. Luckily, it also caused his nearby tools to bounce, so Ricochet reached out and caught his drill. He turned it on and pointed it at his aggressor, who released him, screeching in pain. Venom had no other choice than to leap out the only intact window to escape the infernal noise.

"Ha HA!" yelled Andy in triumph (as soon as he could uncross his eyes), doing a victory dance though still on the floor. "Yeah, you better run! Who da man? Who da—" he stopped, wondering why the drill had suddenly gone silent. He looked at it, realizing that he had accidentally yanked the cord out from the machine and rendering it useless. "Uhhhh….maybe he won't be back."

A resounding thud several stories higher and Venom screaming "RICOCHEEEEEET!" proved him all too wrong.

"Toothpaste," Andy inwardly cursed, thinking fast. "His weakness is sound, so what's noisy! Uhh, uhh, oh! I have an air horn! I have an air horn, where'd I put it, where, where, where—in my CAR! I'll never make it, but I have to try…."

Ricochet elbow-scooted over to a desk then hoisted himself (and that stupid chair) into the upright position. He grabbed the keys, which had bee inadvertently cut down in Venom's fit, and knew that in order to survive he had to find some way out of the building before he was caught.

"I am sooooo dead."


	4. Chapter 4

Ricochet could hear Venom high above him, probably destroying something valuable. Andy rolled his chair forward and out peered out the office doorway, knowing the elevator was just around the hall corner.

However, as soon as he scooted towards it, all the noise stopped. It took a moment for Ricochet to realize that it was a scare tactic, and that it was working. He propelled himself to his goal with agonizing slowness, every squeaky turn of his wheels giving away his position.

_Scoot… Scoot… Scoot…_

"Ricocheeeeeeet," echoed the monster's voice form seemingly everywhere. Andy jumped at the noise, inching ahead with all his willpower, but still not quickly enough.

_Scoot… Scoot… Scoot…_

"There's a 'super' in front of my 'villain' status for a REASON, Ricochet…"

_Scoot… Scoot… Scoot…_

"How much worse do you really want to make your final hours?" At this point, the dentist could discern that Venom's voice was coming from the stairwell behind him. The corner was so close, if he could just get behind it…

"I know I'm not supposed to eat for an hour, but hey, you can make exceptions sometimes, right?"

_Scootscootscoot!_

Andy grabbed the wall and yanked himself around it, hoping it would conceal him from Venom's position. It was all he could do to keep from screaming.

Silence.

Then, from right beside him, "You dumbass, I can _smell_ you."

"GAAAAAAAAH!" said Ricochet, shooting himself backwards. He held his hands in front of him on reflex, still clasping the broken drill. At the sight of it, Venom roared and jumped, landing on a wall twenty feet away.

A low growl reverberated from the depths of his chest. "Let it go, human, before we make you."

Andy's brain suddenly grasped that his aggressor didn't know the drill was useless. Seizing the moment, he started heading for the elevator, pointing the drill as menacingly as he could at Venom. "Yeah, SURE you will! What can you do? You can't even stand a little noise!"

"Unless the right motivation came along… we _are_ quite fond of revenge."

The elevator made a small _ding! _as it reached their floor. Ricochet tore down the warning 'Do Not Enter' tape over the doors and scooted inside. "Sorry, smart-guy. Revenge ain't on the menu!" Andy made the mistake of saluting with the hand holding the drill before he disappeared from view, revealing the instrument's dangling cord.

"Hmph, someone's new at one-liners." Said Venom. Then his eyes narrowed. "………Waaaaait…"

"Close, close, close, CLOSE!" Andy commanded in a horse whisper, furiously pounding the 'Close Doors' button.

The floor shook as Venom charged towards the elevator. "WHY YOU PIECE OF--"

_Ding!_ said the elevator, closing right as Venom's claws left dents in it's doors. The machine started heading downwards at a good pace. It wasn't until he was several stories lower that Andy exhaled. He noticed that the elevator was working fine.

"Huh, I wonder what needed to be repaired…" he contemplated aloud.

Above, Ricochet could hear the sound of metal being ripped to shreds, then something very heavy falling very fast—

_Ker-THUNK! _Venom crashed through the roof of the elevator, and actually went halfway through the floor, causing the whole thing to lean dangerously towards him. The impact caused the lights to flicker, and a cheerful tune on the piano could be heard.

"It was the _music?_" shouted Andy, holding as tight as he could to the railing.

"GNAAAR, we HATE elevators!" yelled Venom, unable to reach his prey from his position and deeply gouging everything within reach. Ricochet might as well have been looking into the business end of a very, very, angry blender.

Sinking in his claws as deep as he could into the floor, Venom pulled himself closer to the dentist and started trying to grab him. Andy's webbed body was weighed down by the chair, but he had enough adrenaline to fuel an airplane, and enough resolution to stay alive to dangle there for months.

"Warning, weight exceeded. Warning, weight exceeded. Warning, weight exceeded," said the elevator's pleasant, female voice recording, the elevator giving an oppressive lurch as the cables started to give from the trauma.

"SHUT UP!" Venom bellowed, yanking out the wiring in the walls and causing the voice to lower several octaves before it stopped.

The villain looked at the wires in his claws and grinned even wider than usual. Before Andy could muster the courage to wonder why his assailant had a sudden mood swing, Venom used the wires like a whip, wrapping them around the dentist's ankles and pulling himself up.

Ricochet, pumped as he was, could have held them both up—however he executed a crazy scheme instead. He let go and fell towards Venom, crushing him momentarily between his chair and the elevator wall. The impact made the villain to lose his balance, and he fell through the hole in the floor, bringing Andy with him. The end result was the dentist holding the both of them up with his fingers in the claw marks, dangling in an elevator shaft, and extremely scared.

"IEEEEEEEE!" screamed Ricochet, certain his joints were coming apart.

"Exhilarating, isn't it!" said Venom, certain of victory. "And this," he continued, climbing up the chair and reaching wit his free hand, "is for you." He ripped his claws into Andy's gut, relishing the sound his victim made in agony and laughing maniacally. He was about to see how deep he could dig before breaking his new toy, when the machine holding the both of them aloft shook again as another cable gave way. Venom lost his balance, and his claw tore down Andy's entire front right-hand side, causing immense pain but also setting the dentist free of his web-based bondage.

Suddenly Ricochet had the upper hand, his legs gripping the chair and Venom dangling below it. Grimacing from the pain in his torso, Andy raised them both up with his legs, wishing he had done more sit-ups, and said, "Let me return the favor!"

He kicked down with his remaining strength, hearing a satisfying _Swak!_ as it struck Venom in the face. He watched both fall into the darkness, which was eventually followed by a heavy impact on the bottom.

Andy sighed, grateful that he wouldn't die by the monster, but also knowing he didn't have enough energy remaining to haul himself to safety. His fingers began cramping up, his arms started to shake, his sweat mixing with the blood of his wounds and dripping down his shoes into the gaping pit below.

Just then, he heard a popping sound above him. For a fleeting instant, he felt weightless, like he was floating in midair. In the next instant, he was inside the elevator, fully aware that he _was_ in midair, and swiftly falling towards the earth.

He would have screamed some more, except he was losing his voice, and the free-fall promptly stopped, causing him to land in a belly-flop. So he swore profusely instead.

The elevator started heading skyward—slowly at first, then gaining in speed, much faster than by any sane mechanism. Andy was thus pressed down by the mounting pressure, deducing, despite the blood loss, that Venom had caught the elevator and was now heading towards the uppermost floor.

In a matter of seconds, the ceiling of the building was breached by the busted machine, held aloft by the supervillain. Venom shook the elevator until Andy fell out, then tossed it aside.

Ricochet could only crawl away, leaving a red smear in his wake. Venom advanced, angry because his head hurt but still looking forward to having a nice breakfast, so he took his time.

Andy took out the keys-on-a-string, swinging them around like a weapon. "Oowaaaaah!" he said, poorly impersonating a martial arts master, "Don't come any closer! I know key-fu!"

Venom effortlessly flicked them away. "Game over, human, but points for effort." he said, sinking his claws into Ricochet's calf and dragging him closer. "Brains taste better with less blood, especially those with a PHD."

"Hey!" said Andy, feebly trying to shake his limb loose, "I have an IDDCP!"

"…Whatever. Stop talking." The villain placed his foot over Andy's sternum and began to press down, using his immense girth to slowly stop his heart.

Along with the massive pain, Andy's vision was starting to blur. He knew he was going to faint soon (which, considering the circumstances was likely a very good thing), but just behind Venom he could see something coming closer…

Realizing what it was, Ricochet managed to gasp a question. "D… Do you believe in karma?"

This made Venom pause. "_Karma_? What-"

Before he could finish, Venom was knocked into next week by none other than the webbed one himself, Spider-man. "You ok?" he asked the fallen dentist, who clearly wasn't.

"_Inhale, cough, wheeze!_" said Andy, holding out a thumbs-up.

"Good. Stay here." Spidey walked over to Venom, who was lying on his back some distance away. He crouched in front of him and said, with his voice set to mocking mode, "Who's all up _way_ too early? You are! Yes you are! That's a cute necklace you have there, isn't it? Is it a pretty little flower? Yes, it's a pwetty wittle fwower!"

Spider-man emphasized his point by poking the villain in the head. Venom growled his warning, but Spidey was nowhere near slowing down. "And look, your teeth are so nice and pearly! I can see myself in them, even! My, how straight and not-sharp looking they are! Wow, that's a nice change. Who's on a non-human diet now? WHO'S on a non-human diet now? You are! Yes you--"

Spider-man shut up only because Venom had grabbed his head and flung him off the skyscraper. He used this to his advantage by webbing Venom, sticking to the side of the building, then yanking the strands as hard as he could. Despite his comparatively larger stature, the villain could not resist the hero's strength and was flung through the parking lot roof, landing on the **only** car parked within it and setting off the alarm.

The piercing wail of the automobile aggravated Venom's symbiote once again. He roared in rage and pain then picked up the car and folded it in half. Unbeknownst to him, an air horn was stashed in the front seat, which then pelted the villain with all the force in its can.

The force of the din was too much to bear. Beyond even screaming now, Venom leapt away, unable to coordinate himself enough to websling and constantly jumping _through_ buildings instead of onto them. It was in this manner that Venom escaped into the sunrise, cursing and falling and causing residents to throw boots at him.

"…Well, that was lucky!" said Spider-man, seemingly to himself. He leapt upwards, did about five ten-point acrobatics, and then landed next to Andy. "I think you need a tune-up. Let's get you to a hospital." He lifted the dentist up, putting one arm over his shoulder and getting ready to take off.

"W-wait…" Andy sputtered, "Jus… Just tell me that wasn't my car…"

"Oh, right! These fell on my head." Spider-man said, taking out a pair of keys-on-a-string. He held them out in the general direction of the car (which was still sounding out a muffled alarm) and pressed the button. The wreck beeped twice in recognition, and Andy finally fainted.

"Man," groaned Spidey, "I had a checkup scheduled this morning!"

The next thing Ricochet remembered was bright lights and people in masks. The doctors in this super-city were fully used to seeing terrible and strange wounds in the citizenry, but even they looked worried. Several surgeries and bags of blood later, Andy was left in his room to recuperate, though he was told later that his right leg may never regain full use due to his extensive injuries.

This compared to death, however, was anything but a burden to him. Not only had he faced one of the most feared creatures in the area and lived to tell about it, but there was a picture of him and Spider-man along with flowers and cards on his desk. The photograph was taken after he had passed out, so Spidey had to hold his head up, but that along with the elevator on the roof, humongous claw-marks everywhere, the busted car, and his destroyed office were more than enough proof to back up his story (which, at this point, was all over the news).

"I hope insurance covers super-human damage," he thought to himself.

"Andy!" cried a familiar voice. At first he thought it might be another interviewer, but to Ricochet's delight it was Claire who had come to visit. She wrapped her arms around him, ignoring his whines of protest. "Andy, I was so worried! I'm so glad you're alive! Andy…" she continued, leaning back to survey his lesions, stricken by the severity of his condition. "Oh my…You didn't do this because of what I said…did you?"

"No, no, no, no, no, no," he said, waving off her concern and avoiding her gaze. Claire, aware of his inability to lie, lifted an eyebrow in disbelief. "…Well… a little, actually… but hey, I'm alive! And I have bragging rights like no other dentist around, right?"

Claire looked downhearted, but tried to be optimistic. "The whole city's impressed, that's for sure… Still, I wonder if it was a good idea for the media to give out your identity like that—"

"Dr. Ricochet?" inquired a nurse, peeking her head inside. "Sorry to interrupt, but we have dozens of baskets for you today."

"Baskets? From whom?" he asked, unaware of anyone besides Claire who cared that much, let alone _dozens_ of them.

"There's…" the nurse said, reading the numerous cards, "…one from a Matt Murdock, one from a Henry Pym, a Janet Van Dyne, a Steve Rogers, a Professor Xavier, a Peter Parker…the list goes on! You've become quite the celebrity, Doctor." she finished, wheeling in an entire cart full of get-well baskets, most of which were filled with money and requests for appointments. There was even a piece of stag meat from a person named Logan, but it hadn't been wrapped so it got tossed.

"Who are those people, Andy?" Claire asked, amazed at the uncharacteristic generosity from strangers.

"Hmmm…" he said, reading a Thank You note from someone named Felicia Hardy. He had heard about most of these people, but why had they bothered to give _him_ any—

He jumped at the realization. "They're _everywhere_…" he thought to himself, "And they're grateful! To me!"

"Andy? You ok?" asked Claire, concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine!" he replied, beaming. "Looks like karma works after all."


End file.
